Heading Back to the Homeland

The picture above is from my nephew's wedding this February in Israel. There's nothing like a wedding to bring people together.

Our family's weddings in Israel do more than that -- they bring worlds together. I missed this one because I had surgery. I've finally gotten the go-ahead to fly and am leaving Tuesday (tomorrow!).

As always, I will be welcomed back with joy and excitement. As always, my family will shower me with unconditional love. As always I will offer my love in return, plus a warm welcome and some of Aunt Sally's special guidance to my nieces and the newest family bride. And as always, I will come away having learned more than I could ever teach.

There's much to admire about our family in Israel, but the level of their commitment to a Higher Power is highest on my list. There's something deeply comforting about the purity of religious rituals, both simple and complex.

They provide so much more than merely rules. They offer guidance. And a path toward inner peace. I wouldn't trade that for anything. And every time I visit, I find myself further along that path.

Though our Israel family is much more deeply religious, we're not really so different. In the end, we are the sum of our unique individualities. Which could be a positive way to walk the road to peace. Someday. We can hope.

So off I go. Have computer, will travel. If you don't hear from me for a while, I'll see you in July. Tawk amongst yourselves. I certainly know you can.

Family Fun Facts

"If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it." Erma Bombeck

Okay, so I'm a week late for Mother's Day. Most mothers are farther behind than that.

I was supposed to leave for Israel today but my sore paw is still acting up and will delay my trip at least a month. I need a distraction. And I thought we could all use a laugh, even a week late.

Our family in Israel has 10 kids, youngest is 7. There are now 7 grandkids, oldest is 6. Here's something funny (and potentially too true), supposedly written by a mother in Austin, TX.

25 THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they ignite.

3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.

4. One 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

5. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

6. No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.

7. Pool filters do not like Jello.

8. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

9. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

10. Super glue is forever.

11. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

12. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

13. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

14. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. Neither do gerbils.

15. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

16. It does, however, make cats dizzy.

17. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

18. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape.

19. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

20. You should not throw baseballs up in the air when the ceiling fan is on.

21. When using the ceiling fan as a bat , you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

22. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

23. The glass in windows (even safety glass) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

24. Your sister's head will, however, stop that same baseball.

25. Sisters hit in the head by baseballs cause a LOT of commotion.

Reflections on Israel's 60th

Yamit, Israel 1978, Israel's 30th Birthday

"If you liked the book, you'll love the country." Israeli Tourist Bureau

Most people who write about Israel do so passionately, unable to suppress their beliefs, ideologies, politics. That's okay. Israel has sparked supercharged emotions from its inception to the present day. How could it not?

A country formed by displaced Holocaust survivors, European, Levantine, Jewish and Arab nationals, the political agendas of Britain, France, Germany and the United States. Home to the holiest shrines of Western civilization's three major religions.

Israel, let's be frank, is--and always has been--the biggest political football in the world. That's not going to stop any time soon. But it won't stop me from going there, either. And it shouldn't stop you.

I've written about Israel from my own biased perspective as a Jew and an American, but also as one who's lived there, has family there, has had many up close and personal experiences.

On the occasion of Israel's 60th Anniversary as an independent nation, here's my sampling of what Israel means to its own citizens, to the world and to you and me.

Yamit, Israel - A Cautionary Town > Gaza - Yamit: Been There, Done That - Friends who made the desert bloom. And then had to give it all away.

Terrorism - A Daily Fact of Life - 9/11 from Israel's point of view.

Israel - Reality Check - See my mother with Israel's founder and first president.

I'm Home and I'm Fine - I unknowingly travel to the US from Israel on the first day of last year's war.

Another Wedding in Israel - And then, I go back again.

And by the way, I'll be heading there next month for a long overdue visit.

Jenna Bush, AKA J-BU

"I think this wedding is one of the most special ones we've done." Donald Trump

Okay, now that the pictures are out, I have to dish. I didn't think I'd care and really, I don't. But still, to see such crashing bad taste all in one place is just too much fun to overlook.

First of all, Oscar de la Renta or not, that low-cut, tightly fitted gown would look more fitting on say, Katherine Heigl than on Jenna Bush. It screams Hottie on the Red Carpet instead of murmuring Blushing Bride.

And I have to ask, what was up with Maid of Honor twin Barbara's Greek Goddess look, complete with wreath headdress? Jeez.

George and Barbara Bush Senior are conspicuously absent from the photos, which is okay since Laura choose a matronly, ugly dress more suitable for Grandmother of the Bride.

Then we had the two fathers and the groom in complimentary and matching ice blue ties. Again, Jeez.

These people have access to the best clothes and fashion advice that money can buy. Aside from a truly lovely engagement ring--which come to think of it came from the groom's side--and a glorious setting provided by nature, the wedding party's look was as tacky as the souvenirs being hawked all over Crawford.

It is sweet the wedding took place this weekend, but I bet that wasn't Jenna's idea. Releasing those pictures on Mother's Day is too good an opportunity for a sagging presidency to pass up.

Around here, there's no wedding, just the usual pride. Our son spent the weekend down in Boca with his grandparents (today is my Dad's birthday too). Tonight we'll pick him up at the airport and go to our favorite Italian restaurant for a relaxed Mother's Day dinner.

All that and roses too.

I won't be wearing Oscar de la Renta ... just the usual jeans. And a great big happy smile.

Hag Sameah ve Yom Ha'atzmaut, Israel

Title Translation: Happy Birthday and Independence Day to Israel

"The security of Israel is a moral imperative for all free peoples." Henry Kissinger

Israel as a soverign nation is now 60 years old. Seems it's been around forever, doesn't it? I guess that's because most of us don't remember the world without it. Or without the constant conflict between Israel and its Arab neighbors.

That's been around forever too. And it's not likely to stop any time soon.

Read a little about worldwide celebrations of Israel's 60th Birthday. Broaden your horizons.

Take a look at some breathtaking pictures of modern Israel celebrating its Independence.

Our family has many direct connections to Israel, then and now. And we've seen, as the world has seen, that Israel's independence comes with a very high price.

Most of us don't have to pay that price, but our freedom too depends on those who do.

Yom HaShoah - Holocaust Remembrance Day

"I stand here on this cursed ground, from which the cries of our brothers will forever resound, I salute our six million brothers and sisters... I salute the ashes of our people and vow 'never again.'" Israel Defense Forces Chief of Staff Gabi Ashkenazi

You don't have to be Jewish to honor the more than 6 million innocent victims of the Holocaust, modern history's worst crime against humanity. You just have to be a human being.

For the 17th year, thousands of people, from teenagers to survivors joined the March of the Living, an annual Walk of Remembrance from Auschwitz to Birkenau on Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Jews and all those connected to survivors around the world marked the horror of the Holocaust with prayer and ceremonies. Yom HaShoah is especially poignant this year in Israel, preparing to celebrate its 60th anniversary as a nation, formed largely by and for those forced from their homes and countries by the Nazis.

Hamas, on the other hand, took the opportunity to pervert Yom HaShoah by airing a documentary series claiming that the Holocaust--the genocide of European Jews--was planned as a satanic Jewish plot to get rid of the handicapped and mentally ill.

Hamas also claims the Holocaust was meant to manipulate the world media into feeling sorry for Jews. And of course, it never really happened and the Nazis had nothing to do with any of it.

What can you say to that kind of bigotry, hatred and ignorance? We'd like to ignore it, but so many Palestinians, a whole generation of young ones for sure, are being taught this horrible lie.

It's not a time to talk Middle East politics. It's a time to remember those who died at the hands of evil hatemongers. And to pray. And to promise it won't happen again.

Those who join the Walk of Remembrance take a solemn pledge. It can't be any clearer than this:

"We pledge to keep alive and honor the legacy of the multitudes of our people who perished in the Holocaust.

We pledge to fight anti-Semitism, anti-Zionism, Holocaust denial and all other forms of hatred directed towards the Jewish people and Israel.

We pledge to fight every form of discrimination manifested against any religion, nationality or ethnic group.

We pledge to actively participate in the strengthening of Jewish life in the Diaspora and Israel.

We pledge to increase our knowledge of our Jewish heritage and to pass on a love of Jewish life and learning to the next generation.

We pledge to give tzedaka, to assist in helping the Jewish needy, wherever they may live in the world.

We pledge to involve ourselves in tikkun olam, to build a better world for all members of the human family.

After the Shoah the promise of 'Never Again' was proclaimed. We pledge to create a world where 'Never Again' will become a reality for the Jewish people and, indeed, for all people.

This is our solemn pledge to the Jewish people, to those who came before us, to those of our generation, and to those who will follow in future generations."

That's our future and our children's future, those special words: Never Again.

Good Friday - Religion 101

"As a Christian I don't condemn you for saying or thinking what you have, you certainly have that right, but don't be taking away my rights as a Christian to believe and say what I want to. Besides, why do you hate a God that loves you and wants the best of everything for you?" Jennifer Vance

Whoa, Jennifer. That's a big leap, equating my argument against celebrating Good Friday as a national holiday with hating God.

Last year I wrote a piece called Good Friday - Not A National Holiday. It continues to provoke responses from people of mostly sincere beliefs who don't seem to have understood my point.

So I'll try again. I'm not anti-Good Friday or anti-Christian or anti-religion. I'm certainly not anti-God. Far from it. I proudly celebrate my own Jewish faith while respecting others who hold different beliefs and practices.

Why not? Christians, Jews and Muslims historically came from the same place after all. Our teachings aren't so very different. One God, adherence to religious laws, faith, conviction, love, tolerance.

It's that last one where the problem usually lies. Religious oneupsmanship. My God's better than yours. Or worse, my God thinks you should die.

Whether Christian, Jew, Catholic, Muslim or Buddhist, religion can have such a positive effect on our lives. It gives us meaning, guidance, support, comfort, direction, strength. What it should never provide is an excuse to kill. Or to hate. Or punish. Or even to judge.

That's why our founding fathers, while recognizing their own and their country's predominant Christianity, tried to take religion out of the governing equation. They wanted to abide by its principles but not to rule America by its laws.

A very sane--and safe--view of separating Church and State. They guessed correctly, as it turns out, that overly zealous religious leaders might run their country with very narrow evangelical tunnel vision. And thus without true tolerance.

I say again, I respect Good Friday as a day of profound significance to Christians. But exactly by virtue of its personal religious significance, it should not be elevated or legislated by government.

The world has learned the hard way that allowing a single religion to rule a nation is to give its fanatics a platform from which to launch unspeakable acts. There's nothing God-like about that.

Another Valentine's Day

"It's true that it doesn't make sense straight off the bat that someone would shop for a Valentine's Day gift at Home Depot. But we do see a high volume of traffic just before the holiday." John Simley

There you go. Valentins's Day doesn't promote romance, it supports the economy.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Nobody should need a special holiday to express love and devotion. And after 26 years of marriage I can tell you romance is best enjoyed when it's least expected.

On the other hand, any day that promotes chocolate is okay with me.

Hope you enjoy some decadent chocolate, even if you bought it for yourself.

1-2-3

"If last year was our Silver Anniversary, what's this year?" my husband
"This year is our Tire Iron Anniversary." me

Today is our wedding anniversary. We've been married 26 years, no small accomplishment. Friends used to ask if I chose January 23 --i.e. 1.23-- deliberately, to help my husband remember our anniversary date.

Nope, January 23 just happened to be the Saturday night all the elements came together ... including an unplanned humongous sleet storm.

In the interest of history--or boredom--I decided to find out what else happened on January 23, according to the New York Times.

It wasn't the best date for some people. Salvador Dali, Captain Kangaroo and Johnny Carson died on January 23, in different years of course.

But it's heartening to remember just two days after celebrating celebrating Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr that on January 23, 1964 Congress ratified the 24th Amendment, eliminating the poll tax in federal elections. And for some historic perspective, the TV mini-series "Roots" first aired January 23, 1977.

On the political front, how fitting that January 23 is the day in 1845 that Congress decreed national elections would be held on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November.

Continuing in that theme, Franklin D. Roosevelt chose January 23, 1932 to announce his candidacy for the Democratic presidential nomination.

Richard Nixon announced an end to the Vietnam War on January 23, 1973, a day I'll never forget. Sitting on my bed all alone I watched him speak on TV, tears running down my cheeks in relief and grief for all the carnage and ruined lives.

January 23, 2009 would be a good day for our next president to announce an accord to end to the War in Iraq.

That will be an anniversary worth remembering.

MLK: If I Had Sneezed

"If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have had a chance...to try to tell America about a dream that I had had." Martin Luther King, Jr

I know an inside story about Dr. Martin Luther King. I bet most of you've never heard it. And it's time you did. Because the irony should escape none of us. And more, because it says something about the man whose life and accomplishments we honor today. It says he was human.

Human not in the sense of foibles and frailties, although he had those too. What man, great or small, does not? I mean human in the manner of his deep humility.

Human in his recognition not of the glory but of the opportunity to lead a movement that would change the course of history, not only for African Americans but for all Americans.

I was too young and never privileged to meet Dr. King, but in later years I knew and worked with his widow, Coretta Scott King through my association with C. DeLores Tucker. I knew and worked with Jesse Jackson in those years, when he was still steeped in the same humility that thrust him forward to carry on Dr. King's mission.

So many times back then during our efforts to put together a fundraiser, launch a voter registration campaign, organize a rally, even draft legislation, I would hear the words "If I Had Sneezed." Over and over. When frustration, exhaustion, fear or anger threatened to overwhelm us, someone would say, "If I Had Sneezed" and determined smiles would reappear, renewed energy emerge, efforts would double.

I eventually learned that "If I Had Sneezed" was insider code for something the general public knows in a whole different way. It's from the sermon Dr. King gave on April 3, 1968, at the Mason Temple (Church of God in Christ Headquarters) in Memphis, Tennessee.

That specific phrase is the final rallying cry --and some say a prescient prediction-- in perhaps Dr. King's most important speech. Read just this part of it, then read all of it and listen to Dr. King's immortal words in his own voice.

Let us rise up tonight with a greater readiness. Let us stand with a greater determination. And let us move on in these powerful days, these days of challenge to make America what it ought to be. We have an opportunity to make America a better nation. And I want to thank God, once more, for allowing me to be here with you.

You know, several years ago, I was in New York City autographing the first book that I had written. And while sitting there autographing books, a demented black woman came up. The only question I heard from her was, "Are you Martin Luther King?" And I was looking down writing, and I said, "Yes." And the next minute I felt something beating on my chest. Before I knew it I had been stabbed by this demented woman. I was rushed to Harlem Hospital. It was a dark Saturday afternoon. And that blade had gone through, and the X-rays revealed that the tip of the blade was on the edge of my aorta, the main artery. And once that's punctured, your drowned in your own blood -- that's the end of you.

It came out in the New York Times the next morning, that if I had merely sneezed, I would have died. Well, about four days later, they allowed me, after the operation, after my chest had been opened, and the blade had been taken out, to move around in the wheel chair in the hospital. They allowed me to read some of the mail that came in, and from all over the states and the world, kind letters came in.

I read a few, but one of them I will never forget. I had received one from the President and the Vice-President. I've forgotten what those telegrams said. I'd received a visit and a letter from the Governor of New York, but I've forgotten what that letter said. But there was another letter that came from a little girl, a young girl who was a student at the White Plains High School. And I looked at that letter, and I'll never forget it. It said simply,

Dear Dr. King,

I am a ninth-grade student at the White Plains High School.

While it should not matter, I would like to mention that I'm a white girl. I read in the paper of your misfortune, and of your suffering. And I read that if you had sneezed, you would have died. And I'm simply writing you to say that I'm so happy that you didn't sneeze.

And I want to say tonight -- I want to say tonight that I too am happy that I didn't sneeze. Because if I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been around here in 1960, when students all over the South started sitting-in at lunch counters. And I knew that as they were sitting in, they were really standing up for the best in the American dream, and taking the whole nation back to those great wells of democracy which were dug deep by the Founding Fathers in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.

If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been around here in 1961, when we decided to take a ride for freedom and ended segregation in inter-state travel.

If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been around here in 1962, when Negroes in Albany, Georgia, decided to straighten their backs up. And whenever men and women straighten their backs up, they are going somewhere, because a man can't ride your back unless it is bent.

If I had sneezed -- If I had sneezed I wouldn't have been here in 1963, when the black people of Birmingham, Alabama, aroused the conscience of this nation, and brought into being the Civil Rights Bill.

If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have had a chance later that year, in August, to try to tell America about a dream that I had had.

If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been down in Selma, Alabama, to see the great Movement there.

If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been in Memphis to see a community rally around those brothers and sisters who are suffering.

I'm so happy that I didn't sneeze.

And they were telling me --. Now, it doesn't matter, now. It really doesn't matter what happens now. I left Atlanta this morning, and as we got started on the plane, there were six of us. The pilot said over the public address system, "We are sorry for the delay, but we have Dr. Martin Luther King on the plane. And to be sure that all of the bags were checked, and to be sure that nothing would be wrong with on the plane, we had to check out everything carefully. And we've had the plane protected and guarded all night."

And then I got into Memphis. And some began to say the threats, or talk about the threats that were out. What would happen to me from some of our sick white brothers?

Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter with me now, because I've been to the mountaintop.

And I don't mind.

Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!

And so I'm happy, tonight.

I'm not worried about anything.

I'm not fearing any man!

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!!

I still get chills reading and hearing those words. Because the very next day, metaphorically, Dr. King did sneeze.

No matter your political party or candidate, no matter how many changes are still needed, you've got to imagine Dr. King's glorious satisfaction at the strides we've made toward the promised land.

And we all must say to him, GOD BLESS YOU!

My Chanukah Gift to You

"Airmen from the 447th Air Expeditionary Group in Iraq with Let’s Say Thanks cards and a Give2TheTroops care package."

"May your charity increase as much as your wealth." Proverbs

I'm back from wherever we went. It was ... an interesting trip. I'll tell you more this week. In the meantime, no matter how you worship--or don't--a few ways to Give and Learn.

Head Butler - Holiday Charity

Let's Say Thanks

Give2TheTroops - Supporting Deployed U.S. Troops With Care Packages

YouTube - Cool Facts about Israel

Office Parties, Damned by Diversity

Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 10, 2007
RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place December 23rd starting at noon at the Grill House. There will bea cash bar and plenty of drinks!

We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time. No gift should be over $10.

This gathering is for employees only!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at the party!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty



Company Memo, Revision 1

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 11, 2007
RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to insult our Jewish employees.We recognize that Hanukkah is also an important holiday. This year, however, Hanukkah will be over by Dec 23rd, so we will not be providinga Menorah.

We also extend our sincere apologies to those who celebrate Kwanzaa, which does not begin until after Christmas and for which the Grill House has no decorations.

So, there will be no Christmas tree either and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

And we've renamed our gathering "Holiday Party" to include all employees who are not Christian plus those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.

We hope this covers all concerns.

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Patty


Company Memo, Revision 2

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: ALL Employees
DATE: December 12, 2007
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I didn't realize Muslims are opposed to drinking alcoholic beverages and do not eat pork. There goes the party!

Seriously, we are dedicated to accommodating all our employees' beliefs. The Grill House has agreed to set up a juice bar, excuse me,juice table, away from the main bar. Will that work?

I'm sorry to announce the gift exchange is cancelled. Union leadership feels that $10 is too much money and Management believes anything under $10 is too chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS WILL BE ALLOWED.

Everyone happy now?

Pat


Company Memo, Revision 3

FROM: Patricia Lewis, Human Resources Accommodation and Diversity Director
To: ALL EMPLOYEES, THIS MEANS YOU!
DATE: December 13, 2007
RE: Generic Holiday Party

Per the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request,but you didn't sign your name. And if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous anymore..

How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Perhaps you could just share the Muslims' juice bar, excuse me, juice table.

Other Concerns:

** I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet. Pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

** Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have its own table.

** Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

** To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House says that no cross-dressing is allowed, apparently because of concerns about use of the restrooms. Sorry.

** Yes, we will have booster seats for short, excuse me, Little people.

** Low-cholesterol food will be available for those on medication.

** I am sorry to report we cannot control the amount of salt usedin the food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

** There will be fresh fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "sugar free" desserts. Sorry

** Atheists, Agnostics and Buddhists are all welcome at the party.

No religion of any kind will be mentioned. Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patricia Lewis


Company Memo, Revision 4

FROM: P. Lewis, Human Resources Director of Bullshit
TO: All Fucking Employees
DATE: December 14, 2007
RE: The Fucking Holiday Party

That's it! I've had it with you organic and vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not. You can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it.

You'll get your fucking salad bar, including organic tomatoes. Did you know tomatoes have feelings, too? They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you fucking weirdos can kiss my holly-covered ass. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

Patty Scrooge, The Bitch from Hell !!!


Company Memo, Final

FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Director, Human Resources
DATE: December 17, 2007
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery. I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy December!

Joan

Happy Chanukah and Peace To All

Holy Temple Lights - Chanukah with Aish

"The windows of the Temple were backward to signify that more than the Temple needed the light of the sun, an often darkened world needs the light of Torah. Let there be light!" Rabbi Shimon Apisdor

As luck would have it, you'll have to tawk amongst yourselves throughout Chanukah while I'm offline.

I hope to return feeling like buttah.

By the way, no matter what you see on TV or hear from your children, Chanukah is not the Jewish version of Xmas. It's a reminder and a celebration of persecution, perseverance and faith.

Well, wait.

Not so different in the end. But that refers to the beginning, not to the commercialized drek both solemn holidays have become in today's modern world.

It's all right here. Chanukah Primer

Discuss.

Giving Thanks

"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is 'thank you', it will be enough." Meister Eckhart

When it comes to giving thanks, I wasn't so much in the mood this year. Our family's had a rough one. Life-threatening health issues. Car accidents. A divorce. The death of a beloved aunt. A close brush with disaster.

My husband had a benign (thank god) tumor removed from his eye. My mother broke a bone in her hip. I've had two surgical procedures on my back. One was last Friday, which is why I've been absent for a while.

I lost two friends and former bosses this year, Dick Doran and Mal Johnson.

And I could go on. But I'm not alone and I'm tired of whining. Many people have endured the same, if not more.

So this week I decided I'm counting my blessings. The old fashioned way. By keeping score.

Even though we saw a marriage break up, we also danced at a wedding.

Plus, my husband and I celebrated 25 years of marriage, no small feat.

My wonderful, unique nephew Kenny walked away from the car wreck shown in the photo above virtually without a scratch.

Another nephew and his wife, who's daily commute took them over the 35W bridge in Minneapolis, weren't on it when it collapsed.

The Phillies won the Division title and I met Ryan Howard.

Sad though it was, I spent some time at Dick Doran's funeral sharing stories with a home grown Archbishop who has just become a Cardinal.

My sister Judy survived her first year of widowhood with such courage and grace. I have more words of wisdom on coping from her to share next week.

Then there's my nephew Alex. My sister's grandson. He's 11 now, still fighting the rare cancer VHL with can-do spirit. The tumors in his eyes and on his spine are microscopic. He and his parents have to stay vigilant about signs and symptoms, but they're used to that. And anyway, he just snagged one of the lead roles in his school play. You go, guy!

And finally, Karen. Alex's mother, Judy's daughter, my niece. And my hero. She fought eye cancer and won. Karen had eye melanoma, which can travel through the body, most often to the liver. If it does that... well, let's not go there.

Tuesday she went for the first laser treatment after her radiation surgery. The laser's job is to remove any vestiges of the tumor and fry any blood vessels that have grown back so they don't become a conduit for traveling cancer cells.

The news was stupendously good ... laser not necessary, no new blood vessels and the tumor was not only gone, but, to quote the doctor, "dust." Her vision's a little blurry but her future--thank you, Dr. Shields, thank you, God--is very, very bright.

So as we gather for Thanksgiving dinner, I think we'll give thanks for what we've got. And celebrate life.

Fighting Poverty, One Grain At A Time

FreeRice

"Many words are poverty." Greek proverb

My sister Judy sent me a link to a word game produced by the good people at Poverty.com. It tests your vocabulary. Maybe even helps build it. If you play, you'll help build a child's starving body. One grain at a time.

What could be more worthwhile than that?

FreeRice

I can't say it any better than my sister's words:

This is a word game that has a kick: for each correctly defined word they [Radisson, iTunes, AmEx, Google and others] will send rice to countries where people are starving.

If you like our language and occasionally think about world hunger, go for it. I love it!

PS: If you aren't interested, that's OK, too. Just delete it and don't give a thought to the starving children..............

FreeRice

The next time you sit at your computer mindlessly playing solitaire, play FreeRice instead.

You'll not only improve your mind, you'll improve your soul. And maybe, if enough of us participate, we can save some lives.

One grain at a time.

FreeRice

As we start powering our way toward the obscene food fest of Thanksgiving, pass it along.

FreeRice

Columbus Day - Feh

"Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America." James Joyce

I so don't care about Columbus Day. Not to rank on my friends of Italian descent, but really, a federal holiday for a man who in fact didn't discover America?

We celebrate ethnic heritage in this country. Which is a good thing. St. Patrick's Day, Pulaski Day, Cinco di Mayo, even Bastille Day. No reason not to have Columbus Day too.

But to close down government offices, banks, schools, many corporations and the stock exchange is excessive and expensive. Plus, it perpetuates a historical myth. Not the best way to educate our children.

Congress creates federal holidays. Who got to them about Columbus? I have an equal discomfort about Martin Luther King Day and have said so here.

Our country is lousy with holidays. Here's the one I'd most like to see Congress create:

END WAR DAY

Yom Kippur - A Time for Change

"The High Holidays are the best time of year for real, long-lasting change." Rabbi Mordechai Rottman

I try each year to explain a little about Yom Kippur, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar, the Day of Atonement. The day we ask forgiveness for our sins and pray our names are entered in The Book of Life for the coming year.

This Yom Kippur I pray for all to change what they can and to embrace God. To embrace Life. Especially because I want to be sure everyone I love will be entered--and remain safely--in Hashem's Book of Life.

Rabbi Rottman explains clearly what it means to change, and how. Here it is, slightly edited. The full version can be found in Four Steps to Change - High Holidays with Aish.

The Torah teaches us that it is never too late to change.

Changing for the better is called doing teshuva. The Hebrew word teshuva, which is often translated as repentance, actually means to "return." Return to God. Return to our pure self.

How do people become interested in self-improvement?

People have faults. The faults they have cause them to suffer in some way or another. This suffering limits an individual's freedom and is often painful. Hence, people want to change... to improve. To be free once again.

How does one change for the better? How does one do teshuva?

There are four steps of teshuva:

1. Regret. To regret what we have done wrong.
When we go against the will of God, the feeling we are supposed to have is regret. What a lost opportunity! We lost a piece of eternity!

2. Leaving the negativity behind. To stop dwelling on the transgression in thought and action.
"Leaving the negativity behind" means staying away from all of the paths that lead to that negativity. This includes crafting your environment to prevent temptation. And it means staying away from even mere thoughts, which can lead to the obvious next step -- action.

3. Verbalization. To verbally state the transgression.
The verbalization that is done after committing a transgression makes one more fully aware of what was done. It therefore heightens the regret and strengthens the resolution not to commit the act again.

4. Resolution for the future. To be determined not to let the transgression happen again.
Make a firm decision not to repeat the negative behavior. You're on your way to becoming the "new you!"

You don't have to be Jewish to benefit from that advice. I wish for my family and yours happiness, peace, prosperity and most of all good health this year and always.

Here's a more secular video for everyone: Sorry. An Aish.com film

L'Shanah Tovah 5768

"Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year, commemorating the creation of Adam and Eve, the first human beings. On Rosh Hashana, the Books of Life and Death are open on the heavenly desk. On this "Day of Judgment," we each stand before God and offer our best case for being "created anew" -- i.e. granted another year of life." Rabbi Shraga Simmons

My sister Judy forwarded me an email commentary on the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashana. It's being going around so much nobody seems to know who originally wrote it.

Doesn't matter. It's more than a little "political." But it's true. It's relevant, especially coming so close to 9/11 this year. And it's from the heart.

We are about to begin our 5768th year on this earth! Who would have believed this possible? If anyone had told Abraham that his people would be around this long he probably would have been astounded.

Imagine, we did this without beheading anyone on TV, without a single suicide bomber, without kidnapping and murdering school children, without slaughtering Olympic athletes, and without flying airplanes into skyscrapers.

We lasted this long despite 400 years as slaves in Egypt, 40 years of wandering in the desert, the mighty Roman army who nailed us to ten thousand crosses; despite the best efforts of fervent Crusaders, the Spanish Inquisition, Hitler's third Reich, Stalin's gulags, Arab wars of annihilation and 100 years of hateful terrorism, hundreds of hate-filled UN resolutions.

How did we Jews do it? We survived by concentrating our efforts on education, love of family, faith, hard work, helping one another and a passionate dedication to life no matter what evil befell us.

We hung in there in hope the rest of the world would one day overcome it's hatreds, jealousies, violence and join us in a life of cooperation and mutual respect. We're not there yet, but we're still hopeful. And when so many of us enter our places of worship next weekend, this is what we'll pray for with all the strength in our hearts.

Best wishes for a New Year filled with health, happiness, laughter, success, joy, and kindness and may this coming year bring peace and security to Israel, to the Jewish communities in the Diaspora and to our planet. 5768 and counting.

For more information on the holiest days in Jewish life: High Holidays - Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Shofar and more

If you're Jewish and can't get to a synagogue tonight, you can hear the Shofar anyway: Symbolism of the Shofar - High Holidays with Aish.

Imagine, technology helping religion, what a world. If only we could add Peace.

Philadelphia Freedom

"A safe Independence Day] would be a good psychological boost, but we need some fundamental news as well." Charles Payne

Here I am in US Birthplace ground zero, a resident of the city of Brotherly Love where America began and all I can think is ... well, nothing.

Rain is falling here. The 4th is on a Wednesday, so no big weekend-long celebration.

It's hard to get worked up about independence--especially in historical context--when so many of our treasured freedoms are being trampled by our modern leaders.

I refuse to discuss that today. Am heading back to bed to watch the Law and Order Marathon -- something as American as apple pie.

Then, rain or no rain, we'll barbecue some burgers and call it a day.

Not the 4th of July celebration dreams are made of ... but at least an all-American day in the first all-American city. Where, if I'm lucky, no one I love will be killed.

Who's Your Father?

a boy and his Dad relaxing after a long Father's Day celebration, 2005

"In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony." Eva Burrows

We're not a family so much as a conglomeration. An amalgam. A merger, come to think of it. And unlike AOL-Time Warner, our family merger's been a rousing success for well over 30 years.

Both widowed, our mother married their father, adding two sisters to a sister and brother. But wait, there's more: our late father had been married previously, so there was already a third sister in the picture. (And just fyi, she gained another sister and brother when her mother remarried.)

Okay then, let's do the math: Full time, I have a mother, a father, three sisters and a brother. We don't say "half," we don't say "step." We just say sister, brother, Mom, Dad, and now, Granny and PopPop.

We've collectively given them 6 grandchildren, plus my older sister's kids have added 4 great-grandchildren.

One sister and I live in Philly. She has a boy and a girl, we have a son. The youngest sister lives in Connecticut, they have a son. The eldest sister lives in LA. Her kids are grown, live in NJ and MN and each have a boy and a girl. Our brother lives in DC ... wisely, we often think, without kids.

Our parents live in Florida. Mostly when they come East, I'm ground zero. And we all go there as often as we can. We've had our share of trials and tribulations, but we also have a lot to be grateful for, so when we get together, it's party time.

Father's Day became our biggest family celebration because there are so many add-ons.

Dad's birthday in May, along with one grandchild and her special son. Four June birthdays: Mom's, mine, a son-in-law and another grandchild. And that grandchild was born on Mom and Dad's wedding anniversary. Then three birthdays in July: my husband's, another sister and the sister of the special great-grandson above.

Phew.

A lot of family, food, drink and a monster cake.

The last time we all gathered for Father's Day was two years ago at my niece's home at the Jersey shore. I hope it won't really be the last time.



younger sister, Dad, Mom, sister's husband, my kid, my husband, sister's kid


niece, younger sister again, older sister (aka niece's mother),
one of her grandchildren (top right)

One of my favorite memories is driving down the shore with Mom and Dad, my iPod plugged into the radio, music blasting through the speakers as we all sang along with Stevie Wonder, "I Just Called To Say I Love You."

Whenever I hear that song, I picture Dad belting out the lyrics, all the while looking at Mom and me to let us know how much he cared.

Even when we can't be together, I always call Dad to say, I Love You.