Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Happy Silver Anniversary - To Us

"A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day." Andre Maurois

Today is our 25th Wedding Anniversary. As my husband likes to say, "19 of the happiest years of our lives."

All joking aside, it's quite an achievement to be married this long, no matter how many bumps in the road along the way. Trials and tribulations conquered together can serve to make a marriage stronger.

We have a happy, healthy, productive son who graduated college last year with a great job already lined up, and is well embarked on a career he loves. So that huge responsibility has been met. No small thing, believe me.

We're still best friends. We talk, debate, discuss, argue, make up. We can still laugh at ourselves, each other and life. And we continue to grow ever more adept at connubial bliss.

Are we lucky? Sure. Do we work hard to keep it this way? Absolutely. I've got some tips on that here: Questioning a Good Marriage.

Marriage is a commitment, not just of time and energy but of self. And it requires, most of all, best of all, humor and flexibility. Add to the mix respect, admiration, empathy, support, attention and passion -- and there you have it, the recipe for a good marriage.

We had good role models too, and that helps. My husband's parents were married 41 years when my father-in-law died. I helped my husband through that, and through his mother's death 7 years later.

He helps me now with my parents, who, in their 80s, recently celebrated their 35th anniversary. (Both were widowed when they married, but we don't split hairs, we're just one big blended family.)

My parents have set the bar high and happy. They never miss an opportunity to tell each other and us how special they are.

Every morning my father says to my mother, "I'm sorry," to cover all the mistakes he's sure to make that day. Every night my mother apologizes for anything she did wrong.

They do that tongue in cheek, but the message is clear. Hold your spouse and his/her feelings in high esteem. Hold your relationship in high regard. Don't take it, or your partner for granted.

Maybe you're wondering why I haven't mentioned Love. Simple. It goes without saying. But it should be said every day.

So: Honey, I love you. Here's to the next 25 years ... and beyond.

Our Wedding Color: White

Our Wedding Cake: Chocolate

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Blogger Daniel Rubin said...

Wow. Insist on something silver and painful, like a filling. But seriously, folks, 25 years is nothing to sneeze at. We're going on 22. My parents are heading toward 60. Each set of grandparents hit 60. We are blessed. The secret? Faith that no one else would have us.

1:22 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

Congratulations, Sal & Frank. I can say we were there at the beginning and then - how'd that happen...25 years? You both deserve medals, but instead you get bragging rights. We love you and celebrate along with you . Think of us dancing to those 80's tunes in our condo tonight.
Mary & Jim

5:59 PM  
Blogger Sally Swift said...

Yo, Dan, 22 is nothing to sneeze at either, especially in this sick world. 60-60 is good to shoot for, as long as we can still shoot.

Our secret? Neither of us willing to be the one to say Uncle.

6:01 PM  
Anonymous GenK said...

Brag on, dear friend! And count the blessings every day!

I would have hit 50 last year but quit at 33. I wonder if it is coincidence that the past 18 years have been my happiest, most creative, financially poorest, and my frown lines have given way to laugh lines.

6:02 PM  
Blogger Andrew said...

Your husband sounds like he has a wonderful sense of humor. Congratulations to you both! May you have 25 more years together.

Andrew (To Love, Honor, and Dismay)

8:35 PM  

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