Democrats Have My Number

"Elections are about the American people coming together to make fundamental decisions about what kind of people we are, what kind of country we are going to leave our children and our grandchildren, and how we are going to relate to the rest of the world." Bill Clinton

I can't remember the last time I was so popular. My phone's been ringing off the hook with calls from top Democrats. All wanting to talk to me.

Not to name-drop or anything, but that perennial hottie Bill Clinton called me 3 times in two weeks. Hunky PA Governor Ed Rendell, AKA Fast Eddie, has rung me up a whopping 5 times. I've heard from sexy John Edwards twice. John Kerry only called once and I wasn't home. Just as well, he's such a stick he'd probably have bored me with a bad joke.

To tell you the truth, all these calls are beginning to get on my nerves.

Still, it's obvious they want something. I wonder what it could be......

Yes, they want my vote. They should know they've already got it. Why are they wasting precious resources on a dedicated Dem like me? Each time I get a recorded message from Bill or Ed or John, I yell at the phone: Don't call ME again! Call somebody who needs a push!

But do they listen? No. What else is new.

The party machine might not get it, but Democratic PACs like MoveOn.org should know better. Yet we've received numerous Get Out The Vote calls from them too. At least those calls come from live people, so I can tell them: "You have our votes, please don't waste time on us, call somebody else."

That's my message to the DNC: Direct these calls to the voters you need, not the ones you've already got. Modern technology is a wonderful thing. You can send recorded messages from big time pols to thousands of voters with the flick of a switch. You should be parsing those call lists, identifying clear partisans, fence sitters and new voters.

Trust me, members of MoveOn.org, StoptheNRA.com, Emily's List, DCCC, DNCC, democrats.org and even People For the American Way (pfaw.org), are on your side. We registered for your emails, we signed petitions, we've given money. We sure don't want that money spent on a dozen calls to us.

Call Independents. Call Republicans. Call new registrants. And have Rock The Vote get somebody with street cred to make calls to young voters. Snoop Dog. Black Eyed Peas. Bono. Bruce.

But for the luvagod, don't call the same people over and over. Especially me.

If you're not sure, Bill or Ed or John could say so in the first call, "If I'm preaching to the choir and you're already with us, God bless you. Stop in at democrats.org and let us know you got my call. If you want to help, call your friends. And don't forget to Vote November 7!"

It's just that simple. But it seems this telephone campaign, as with too much in the Democratic Party, is a great big disconnect.

Here's hoping the Dems connect with the voters on Election Day 2006.