Light on the War
"We now know a thousand ways not to build a light bulb" Thomas Alva Edison
"Have you any idea how many kids it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. One to say, 'What light?' And two more to say, 'I didn't turn it on.' " Erma Bombeck
Q: How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?
One to claim that a light bulb needs to be changed;
One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb doesn't need to be changed;
One to blame the Democrats for burning out the light bulb;
One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs;
One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;
One to deploy hundreds of thousands of soldiers to change the light bulb;
One to hammer the threat of grave danger for America if the light bulb isn't changed;
One to arrange a photograph of George W. Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under a banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;
One to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush is literally dimmer than the light bulb;
One to viciously smear that whistleblower as unChristian;
One to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George W. Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;
And finally ... One to make sure Americans stay in the dark on the distinction between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
You know, this was meant to be a little light satire. But in the bright glare of reality, it's not so freakin funny.