My Flag Day Birthday

"All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much." George Harrison

Today is Flag Day. And my birthday. Donald Trump's birthday too. Big whoop.

These days, boomer birthdays are less and less cause for celebration. But, as they say, consider the alternative. And anyway, at least I'm younger than Trump. So, like always, I'll go through the day with that delicious sense of entitlement we all feel on our birthdays. I'll be taken out to dinner, given some flowers, a cake, a few gifts.

Actually, it bothers me that Flag Day isn't a bigger whoop, but there you go, welcome to the American Way. Celebrity trumps history every time.

Speaking of which, want to know my favorite gift so far? The opportunity to write about...

The Teflon Freak

I'd like to point out that I've showed great restraint in this matter. My lips have been sealed throughout virtually the whole circus -- though, to be honest, that was mostly to keep my lunch down.

The icing on the cake today appears on Jackson's official website. With Quintessential Kitsch and vintage Jackson hyperbole, it compares his acquittal to the fall of the Berlin Wall and Nelson Mandela's release from prison. Jeezus, dudes, you gotta rein it in. This is the real world, not Pluto.

Jacko's declared innocent by a jury of his peers. Gives you pause right there, doesn't it? Let's face it, the only place you could find this guy's peers is on Pluto. But the jurors interviewed on the news about the verdict actually sounded fairly lucid. And apparently far more reality-based than most of the witnesses at the trial.

The case against Jackson, especially the witnesses-particularly the chief accuser's mother-just simply weren't credible enough. And they were almost as creepy as Jacko himself.

Is Michael Jackson a sick twister? Probably. But he's not your low-profile garden variety pedophile who can lurk around playgrounds-or, say, churches-unnoticed. The pop star is still a huge entertainment icon, and so over-the-top bizarre there's literally nowhere he can hang out anonymously to select his targets -- so how does he get them? This, I bet, is what bothered the jury most. The young victims were brought to him on a platter -- usually by their parents. Who are stone idiots. All of them. They sold their children. Innocent, helpless children -- who should have been "cherished" and protected by their families-not by MJ-in the first place.

Here's my advice for parents of all Jackson's potential new victims: 1. What are you, nuts? Don't leave your kids alone with him! And (sigh) 2. After you've sacrificed your little lambs and milked the goat for the big bucks, don't expect to get anywhere with future claims of victimization.

And finally, to the lady who felt compelled to release those white victory doves, I feel compelled to say: Beat It.


My one other comment on this travesty: The Pope and The Pop Star

And a few links, just for you:

On This Day

USSSP: U.S. Flag

FamousBirthdays.com