Family Fun Facts

"If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it." Erma Bombeck

Okay, so I'm a week late for Mother's Day. Most mothers are farther behind than that.

I was supposed to leave for Israel today but my sore paw is still acting up and will delay my trip at least a month. I need a distraction. And I thought we could all use a laugh, even a week late.

Our family in Israel has 10 kids, youngest is 7. There are now 7 grandkids, oldest is 6. Here's something funny (and potentially too true), supposedly written by a mother in Austin, TX.

25 THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they ignite.

3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.

4. One 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

5. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

6. No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.

7. Pool filters do not like Jello.

8. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

9. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

10. Super glue is forever.

11. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

12. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

13. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

14. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. Neither do gerbils.

15. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

16. It does, however, make cats dizzy.

17. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

18. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape.

19. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

20. You should not throw baseballs up in the air when the ceiling fan is on.

21. When using the ceiling fan as a bat , you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

22. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

23. The glass in windows (even safety glass) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

24. Your sister's head will, however, stop that same baseball.

25. Sisters hit in the head by baseballs cause a LOT of commotion.