Nude Oscar Nominees

"Odysseus saw the sirens; they were charming,
Blonde, with snub breasts and little neat posteriors"
John Streeter Manifold

I'll be watching the Oscars tonight with a whole new sensibility. And not necessarily in a good way. Because thanks to ohnotheydidn't, I have now seen nude pics of all this year's female nominees.

Maybe it's the source, Celebritease or maybe it's our can't-be-too-thin culture. But one thing stands out, so to speak, about these pics -- the big sellers are small breasts.

I'm a bit confused. I thought medium to large breasts were preferred for display purposes. Consider Hooters if not Playboy. Remember the thousands of breast implants done every year. Look for masses of plumped up cleavage on any Red Carpet.

So what's the deal here? I'm no film expert but I guess I'd have to say: Big Talent = Little Breasts. Think I'm wrong? Compare Judi Dench, Charlize Theron and Frances McDormand for example, to Paula Abdul, JayLo or Jessica Simpson. 'Nuff said.

Oh, one more thing. Reese Witherspoon may or may not win the Oscar for Best Actress tonight. But if you're a fan you'll be pleased to know she's already won the Nude Nominees comments award for Best Breasts.